Thursday, November 14, 2002
I have a patch of dry skin on my face that will never go away. No amount of lotion or steroid cream seems to kill it.
It is this big: O
I hate it more than I hate just about anything else on my body. Well, to be honest, it's a toss up between the dry patch and the spare tire I got resting on my waist. Both combined make me one fiercely ugly bwah!
Paul is out looking at apartments right now. I wish he would just settle on one already! I want to start picking out things for the house. I told him last night that I was fully building things for his apartment a la TRADING SPACES. I am going to put on my best "Hilde" costume and go to town. But in order to do that the kid needs to settle on a place. He keeps thinking he will find one that is just that much better.
ARGH!
Do you have any idea how happy I am during the day when I know that I will be seeing Paul later on in the night? I mean, just about THE happiest boy on the planet. Pretty soon I will have everyone I love the most all in one place. Kelly, Rita, Paul, Mariah...ROCK!
Last night he and I went to KFC and housed a family size bucket of garbage. I am in no way a fan of KFC, but after smoking the biggest joint humanely possible, the chicken tasted just that much better. Plus I doused it in Blue Cheese so that I would be able to meet my calcuim requirements for the day.
You know.
It makes sense.
Really.
Yeah, I am a FAT ass.
With blue cheese legs.
Penelope went to the dentist and I am at work alone now. Well, Rita is here, but she is in her office with her best friend Debbie. They are sucking on cough drops together.
yew!
Rita and I are going to go to this gay bar "Albatross" for happy hour. Paul is going to see a couple more places and then meet us there for a few more vodka tonics. I will only be having juice as I will be driving there.
BOO WAH!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Never ever ever will that be the case.
Today has been the most draggingest day of my life. Work blows and I can't fucking wait to escape from here.
It's just about 4:15pm and I watch the clock tick by in manner of something
slow.
Yeah!
Wow. I am so incredibly snoresville today. I have no sense of humor, nothing clever to contribute...
But at least I haven't talked about shitting or pissing. I know how some of you get squemish about poop and pee.
Just try eating some. It will cure you from being grossed out by it.
:-X
Tomorrow night the movie Pumping Iron will be on Cinemax. You KNOW I will be taping that shit. It's like my own personal porno. I love the fact that all of these huge bodybuilder guys thought that they were making the movie to educate the world on the mechanics of the sport of bodybuilding.
SUCKERS!
I will sit there naked and pulling on my dick to show my understanding!
Maybe I will even play with my balls too, just to give them that extra zing!
ZING!
These are the things I want to do this weekend:
1) Go see a movie and drink a 40 while it is showing.
2) Piss in a cup like I did while watching "The Ring". (I mean, do YOU want to miss part of a movie just to use the bathroom?)
3) Hang with Mariah and her roommate Joanna. Rita and I are hoping that they will return my calls and get some drinks with us. It's been TOO long since we have all been together.
4) Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
5) Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep - the w + an L = (more) Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
6) Figure out a way to hook up my playstation. I miss playing video games.
7) Rub my balls on Rita's face.
NO JOKE! One time, I was drunk, but not nearly as drunk as Rita. She was sitting on the couch on the verge of passing out and I went over to her, unzipped my pants and rubbed my bag of balls all over her face. After about 2 minutes of this, she raised her head and was like "Wha?"
I said: "Go back to sleep...I am rubbing my balls on your face."
She said: "Ok. Carry on" and went back to passing out.
So of course, I "Carried on" by continuing to rub the bag up and down her left cheek.
If you know Rita, you know that she is SO serious about what touches her face. She has a face washing regimine that takes about an hour to do. She would NEVER, no matter how wasted she is, forget to wash and cleanse her skin.
But that night, she went to bed with at least two of my pubes resting high and proud on her cheekbone.
SICK!
I don't know what I am more sorry for...actually rubbing my balls on her face, or for telling the story in here.
Good thing she is such a good sport about it all.
Good thing, cuz I am doing it again to her this weekend.
(sssh...don't tell her that I am keeping this journal. That way she will never know!)
Alright...this entry today is full of nothing, but ridiculousness. I must go and finish up some shit before I leave this hell hole!
PEAYCE!
and a bag of balls.
It is this big: O
I hate it more than I hate just about anything else on my body. Well, to be honest, it's a toss up between the dry patch and the spare tire I got resting on my waist. Both combined make me one fiercely ugly bwah!
Paul is out looking at apartments right now. I wish he would just settle on one already! I want to start picking out things for the house. I told him last night that I was fully building things for his apartment a la TRADING SPACES. I am going to put on my best "Hilde" costume and go to town. But in order to do that the kid needs to settle on a place. He keeps thinking he will find one that is just that much better.
ARGH!
Do you have any idea how happy I am during the day when I know that I will be seeing Paul later on in the night? I mean, just about THE happiest boy on the planet. Pretty soon I will have everyone I love the most all in one place. Kelly, Rita, Paul, Mariah...ROCK!
Last night he and I went to KFC and housed a family size bucket of garbage. I am in no way a fan of KFC, but after smoking the biggest joint humanely possible, the chicken tasted just that much better. Plus I doused it in Blue Cheese so that I would be able to meet my calcuim requirements for the day.
You know.
It makes sense.
Really.
Yeah, I am a FAT ass.
With blue cheese legs.
Penelope went to the dentist and I am at work alone now. Well, Rita is here, but she is in her office with her best friend Debbie. They are sucking on cough drops together.
yew!
Rita and I are going to go to this gay bar "Albatross" for happy hour. Paul is going to see a couple more places and then meet us there for a few more vodka tonics. I will only be having juice as I will be driving there.
BOO WAH!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Never ever ever will that be the case.
Today has been the most draggingest day of my life. Work blows and I can't fucking wait to escape from here.
It's just about 4:15pm and I watch the clock tick by in manner of something
slow.
Yeah!
Wow. I am so incredibly snoresville today. I have no sense of humor, nothing clever to contribute...
But at least I haven't talked about shitting or pissing. I know how some of you get squemish about poop and pee.
Just try eating some. It will cure you from being grossed out by it.
:-X
Tomorrow night the movie Pumping Iron will be on Cinemax. You KNOW I will be taping that shit. It's like my own personal porno. I love the fact that all of these huge bodybuilder guys thought that they were making the movie to educate the world on the mechanics of the sport of bodybuilding.
SUCKERS!
I will sit there naked and pulling on my dick to show my understanding!
Maybe I will even play with my balls too, just to give them that extra zing!
ZING!
These are the things I want to do this weekend:
1) Go see a movie and drink a 40 while it is showing.
2) Piss in a cup like I did while watching "The Ring". (I mean, do YOU want to miss part of a movie just to use the bathroom?)
3) Hang with Mariah and her roommate Joanna. Rita and I are hoping that they will return my calls and get some drinks with us. It's been TOO long since we have all been together.
4) Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
5) Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep - the w + an L = (more) Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
6) Figure out a way to hook up my playstation. I miss playing video games.
7) Rub my balls on Rita's face.
NO JOKE! One time, I was drunk, but not nearly as drunk as Rita. She was sitting on the couch on the verge of passing out and I went over to her, unzipped my pants and rubbed my bag of balls all over her face. After about 2 minutes of this, she raised her head and was like "Wha?"
I said: "Go back to sleep...I am rubbing my balls on your face."
She said: "Ok. Carry on" and went back to passing out.
So of course, I "Carried on" by continuing to rub the bag up and down her left cheek.
If you know Rita, you know that she is SO serious about what touches her face. She has a face washing regimine that takes about an hour to do. She would NEVER, no matter how wasted she is, forget to wash and cleanse her skin.
But that night, she went to bed with at least two of my pubes resting high and proud on her cheekbone.
SICK!
I don't know what I am more sorry for...actually rubbing my balls on her face, or for telling the story in here.
Good thing she is such a good sport about it all.
Good thing, cuz I am doing it again to her this weekend.
(sssh...don't tell her that I am keeping this journal. That way she will never know!)
Alright...this entry today is full of nothing, but ridiculousness. I must go and finish up some shit before I leave this hell hole!
PEAYCE!
and a bag of balls.
